Ghosting causes stress for everyone involved. Here’s why.
We often think of ghosting — the act of suddenly cutting off communication without explanation — as a dating culture thing.
But spend enough time in business, and you’ll realise: it happens everywhere.
Clients vanish mid-proposal.
Leads stop replying after expressing enthusiasm.
Collaborators disappear without closing loops.
People we thought were emotionally mature… fall silent.
It’s tempting to label ghosting as rude, unprofessional, or avoidant.
But there’s something deeper at play here — and it’s happening in the brain.
Ghosting Is A Nervous System Response
Ghosting is rarely about strategy.
It’s about safety.
When we feel discomfort — fear of saying no, fear of disappointing, fear of confrontation, fear of not having the right words — the brain defaults to its oldest trick: avoidance.
Ghosting isn’t logical.
It’s chemical.
Under stress or uncertainty, the amygdala (the brain’s fear centre) hijacks rational thought. Dopamine — the neurotransmitter linked to reward and instant gratification — pulls our attention to something easier, shinier, or less emotionally taxing.
And in today’s fast-paced, message-heavy world?
Leaving things hanging feels like relief in the moment.
But that relief comes at a cost.
Open Loops, Open Stress Cycles
Psychology calls this the Zeigarnik Effect — the brain’s tendency to remember incomplete tasks more than completed ones.
Unresolved communication creates open loops.
Open loops create mental load.
Mental load increases stress.
Ghosting doesn’t close a loop — it leaves both parties spinning in ambiguity.
→ For the ghoster: a background hum of avoidance stress.
→ For the recipient: cognitive dissonance, confusion, self-doubt, and a cortisol spike.
This is why ghosting feels so bad — for everyone involved.
It’s unfinished business at a brain level.
Why Do Smart, Successful People Ghost?
Because nobody teaches strategic closure.
We reward speed over thoughtfulness.
We celebrate dopamine-driven behaviours: next! next! next!
We normalise busyness over boundaries.
But the most respected leaders, operators and founders I know?
They don’t ghost.
They close loops — with clarity, brevity, and grace.
Not because they’re perfect.
But because they understand that unclosed loops cost energy.
And in business, energy leaks = performance leaks.
How To Lead Differently
→ A simple “Thanks for thinking of me — this isn’t a fit right now” closes a loop.
→ A quick “Appreciate the conversation — I’ve decided to go another direction” restores dignity.
→ A brief “I’m pausing this project — no next steps from me” creates certainty.
None of these require hours of emotional labour.
They require presence. Ownership. Courage.
The real flex in business?
Not avoiding discomfort.
But learning to regulate through it.
Final Thought
Ghosting might feel easier in the moment.
But strategic closure feels better in the long run.
For your mind.
Your brand.
Your nervous system.
Because clarity isn’t just kindness.
It’s leadership.
Ready to lead with clarity — inside and out?
My work is designed for founders, leaders, and operators ready to master the inner game of business — nervous system first.
→ Explore Walking Talking Business — clarity in motion for leaders who think better out loud.
→ Or for deeper strategic thinking partnership, discover Stillpoint — where business meets brain meets behaviour.