Speed is seductive. It looks like competence. Quick answers. Quick decisions. Quick pivots.
But speed can also be a control pattern in a nice suit.
Leaders who slow down to truly listen often create the most lasting impact.
They are not the loudest, nor are they the fastest. They are not the ones who fire off a reply in 14 seconds flat because their nervous system can’t tolerate silence.
They are the ones who can hold the pause.
Many owners and leaders miss a vital point and it is this… when you slow down to listen, you’re not “being nice” you are doing two high value business things at once:
- You’re lowering threat, whether that is in the room, in the relationship or in the nervous system.
- You’re increasing signal receptivity by receiving better information, clearer truth with fewer costly assumptions.
This combination is another one of the hidden profit multipliers which are overlooked when the loud and noisy are chasing the next Insta accolade. The ROI may not be instantly visible, but depth wins.
Are You Seduced By Speed?
While you ponder whether you are seduced by speed, here’s a phrase I’d like you to hold like a handrail guiding you to your next level of success:
“Never move faster than you can feel.”
And to take it to the visceral level… “Never think faster than you can feel.”
Because the moment you outrun sensation, whether this is your own, your client’s, your team’s or the room’s you stop leading with intelligence and start leading with reflex.
The Hidden Emission of Speed As Control
In high-performing circles, speed often masquerades as competence.
Fast decisions. Fast meetings. Fast responses. Fast fixes. But speed can also be a subtle power leak because when you move too quickly, you stop hearing what’s actually being said.
You hear:
- what you expected to hear
- what your bias wants to confirm
- what your stress pattern filters in
And you miss:
- the unspoken concern
- the micro fracture in trust
- the early warning sign
- the brilliant idea someone won’t risk sharing yet
That’s why “listening” is rarely about ears. It’s about your internal capacity.
When Your Brain Wants To Bolt…
Let’s be honest, most leaders don’t struggle with listening because they are disinterested. They struggle because attention is being shredded by distractions and overload.
Back-to-back meetings increase stress and reduce our ability to focus; even short breaks can improve engagement and cognitive readiness.
Multitasking in videoconferences is linked to more fatigue and worse performance. Cognitive fatigue also shows up as declining attention performance over time. So, when you see someone whose life looks great on the outside, they may have quietly reached their internal upper limit. Here are three “attention anchors” you can use immediately when you really want to listen:
1. One-job rule
If you’re listening, you’re not typing. If you’re typing, you’re not listening. It’s a pure biological situation we’re dealing with, so decide.
2. The 90-second window
Give the first 90 seconds of someone speaking your full, undivided attention. No interruptions. No “yes, but…”. Just data gathering. This is important because most people reveal the real issue in the first minute if you don’t rush them, so control the pace.
3. The Single Note Capture”
Write one word only. Let that word be the core theme you’re hearing. For example, timeline, capacity, trust. It keeps you on track without pulling you in to administrative function.
The Listening Metrics
Here’s your simple test for this week:
In every important conversation, reflect back what you heard once before you respond.
Count how many times the other person says, “Yes. Exactly.”
That’s data gathering and impact you can measure.
Feeling Heard Changes Behaviour & Outcomes
There’s a strong research thread showing that when people feel genuinely heard, you get better engagement, stronger relationships, and improved performance. This is not because you’ve “managed” them, but because you’ve been a calm, conscious leader and reduced the invisible drag of defensiveness. (hbr.org)
And when leaders create an environment where people feel safe, they will speak up earlier, learn faster, and make fewer expensive mistakes.
What Does This Really Mean For You & Your Business?
When you listen well, you don’t just “support people”. You upgrade the operating system of the room.
Listening creates impact that looks invisible at first because it’s working upstream. However, stick with it because it prevents the things that never show up on the dashboard until they’re a crisis. I’m thinking:
- disengagement that becomes attrition
- resentment that becomes resistance
- misalignment that becomes rework
- unspoken fear that becomes underperformance
The Part Most Leaders Skip
They listen… but… they don’t hear the real meaning, they don’t “get the point”, they fail to focus and the conversation was meaningless.
Leaders who slow down to truly listen often create the most lasting impact, not because they’re “nice”, but because they’re doing something most organisations are starving for… reducing noise and amplifying signal and that is a commercial advantage.
“StillPoint Listening”
If you want to lead with quiet power, use this in your next conversation:
1. Slow your breath before you slow your words.
One exhale. Shoulders drop. Jaw softens. Relax the root of your tongue. Remember your nervous system sets the tone of all your interactions and breath is your active gateway.
2. Reflect the essence of the conversation, not the story.
“So what I’m hearing is… you’re not against the plan, however you are worried about the timeline risk.”
3. Ask one relevant question that opens truth.
“What feels most important that hasn’t been said yet?”
4. Close the conversation loop in 24 hours.
A short message: “Here’s what I heard. Here’s what we’re doing. Here’s what we’re not doing (yet).”
Lasting Impact
Anyone can perform urgency. But leaders who can stay present long enough to hear reality become the calmest, clearest leader and decision maker in the room, and that’s what people feel and respond to subconsciously.
This isn’t mysticism.
This is the real neurological, biological and psychological flex.
It’s pattern recognition. It’s leadership intelligence. It’s power and presence.
Contact me and I’ll tailor your listening for impact protocol so your people communicate like leaders again.
Love. Gail.