The leadership values piece is done, words adorn the walls and the coffee machine chat is all about being a values led company. But, people can feel in seconds the difference between fake and real values.
Some organisations look polished on paper, but the room feels tense. Good people quietly disengage, meetings are unproductive, communication is clipped and the undercurrent signals “stay alert, be on edge, protect”.
Most leadership teams think they have a values problem, but often they don’t. They have a misaligned human signal problem.
Values Echo What You’re Safe To Do
We all know values run deeper than words and are demonstrated through behaviour. But, burrow deeper beyond behaviour through the layers of the human being and we reach signal central nervous system. This is the place where people feel in seconds the values you broadcast. People instantly decide whether they can speak their truth and whether it is safe to breathe.
So, when language and actions are in conflict, your culture will follow your signals.
The Fake Values Trap
Fake values are rarely malicious, but I’ve seen them inherited, borrowed, or lifted from another company’s website. Words like:
- Family
- Respect
- Integrity
- Safety
- Belonging
But most leaders miss that people receive values as emotional meaning.
Take “Family.” To one employee, family means warmth, belonging, Sunday dinners and safety. To another, “family” triggers conflict, control, shame, abandonment, grief or years of walking on eggshells.
So, when a company says, “We’re like a family here,” some people don’t feel included, they feel threatened. They’re not being difficult, it is their lived experience and their nervous system is doing its job and protecting them from perceived harm.
This is why values programmes can accidentally become emotional coercion. When the leadership proudly announce, “Here are our values.” They are silently saying, now think like us, feel like us, behave like us. This isn’t leadership, it’s branding and, in a human-led world, that’s back to front.
5 Examples Where Words & Actions Split
1 “My door is always open.”
But you sigh when someone walks in. You keep typing while they speak. You glance at the clock.
Your words say welcome, but your body says you’re a problem.
2 “We value wellbeing.”
But the reward system celebrates instant replies, late nights and heroic burnout.
You’re not maintaining health and safety responsibility through wellbeing, you’re building a stress addiction with a pretty poster.
3 “We want honest feedback.”
But when someone tells the truth, you defend, over explain, or punish with subtle withdrawal.
That’s not feedback culture, it’s a domineering compliance culture.
4 “We are eco-conscious and people first.”
But you under resource teams, churn suppliers, squeeze margins, and then act surprised when standards drop.
Sustainability isn’t another marketing platitude, it’s a human systems decision and one that identifies and solves the hidden emissions created within an organisation that are in opposition to your eco-conscious and people first statement.
5 “I trust you.”
But you rewrite their work, micromanage decisions, and keep the real conversations behind closed doors.
Trust is more than a sentence, it is an emotional handover and an opportunity to walk along side someone to develop and grow visceral trust.
Real Values Are Demonstrated
For many years, I’ve led with a different approach to leadership, one which is nervous-system-led within company strategy and operational performance that naturally aligns people without ever forcing people to change how they think.
Instead, it creates conditions where people can breathe again and that signals safety. Real values are created by dismantling at the root what makes an environment feel emotionally or energetically unsafe. For instance:
- the micro-fear in meetings
- the unspoken power games
- the passive-aggressive “professionalism”
- the constant urgency
- the emotional leakage nobody names
These are the hidden emissions costing you growth.
As I often say, stress isn’t something you manage, it’s something you dismantle. When you purposefully reduce stress, heartfelt values rise and become natural.
The New Way: Heart-to-Heart, Soul-to-Soul Leadership
This is what I call Stillpoint Leadership in practice. It’s heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul truth, where the essence of human values is embodied and felt by employees and clients alike. And it’s measurable:
When values are real, you’ll see:
- faster decisions
- cleaner communication
- less emotional drag
- higher standards without harsher pressure
- better retention
- stronger client trust
- more profit without the push
Peace. Power. Profit. Not a tagline, but a living outcome.
The Stillpoint Leadership Mini Audit
- Say: What are we telling people matters here?
- Show: What do we actually reward, tolerate, and repeat? Is that aligned or not?
- Signal: What does my tone, timing, attention, and behaviour train people to believe? Is that aligned or not?
Values Are Real When Words & Actions Hold Hands
You’ll see the results after you’ve felt the change.
- Decisions will be faster
- Communication clearer
- Emotions smoother
- Client service will elevate
- People will want to stay
- Clients will trust you
- Profit will rise with less pressure
Peace. Power. Profit. It’s more than a tagline, it’s a living, breathing outcome.
Ready to adopt Stillpoint Leadership as a conscious approach to company performance and people transformation?
Contact me and I’ll share details of of how Stillpoint Leadership is growing through companies.
Love. Gail.