I was talking with a brilliant expert recently.
She wouldn’t say she’s brilliant, just passionate and good at what she does.
She had a very specific problem… she needed to work with affluent clients because they’re the only people who genuinely value and can afford the depth of her service.
Yet, she was barely getting by. The work trickled in simply because she couldn’t get in the room with the right people. So, I said the obvious thing:
“Stop trying to pull them towards you from the outside. Go where they already are. Get known in the right rooms. Be purposefully and credibly visible.
Cue a pause. Massive pause!
She looked at me, half amused, half offended, quizzical frown on her face and said: “Are you encouraging me to stalk people?”
And this is where we need to get very, very clear because one word can kill a strategy.
I smiled a smile of understanding because of what had just been revealed to me. Because this is the exact moment many brilliant experts sabotage their own next level.
So, let’s draw the line.
Stalking is covert, needy, obsessive. You’d be in pursuit, like a cat stalking a bird. No, no, no and once again no! Stalking is not what brilliant experts do.
Being known in the right rooms is open, professional, values-led. It’s “How do I become a trusted presence in the circles where my best clients already make decisions?”
This isn’t chasing. This is strategic ecology. You’re not following people. You’re placing yourself where trust already lives and where you can be seen.
Affluent people rarely buy from strangers, unless it is a transaction – like a bag of sweeties. And, let’s face it, experts develop deep, trusted adviser relationships, so therefore they are looking for relational clients.
Affluent people buy through trust-transfer. And trust-transfer happens through:
- proximity (they’ve seen you around)
- credibility (your reputation precedes you)
- context (you belong there)
- introduction (someone they trust vouches for you)
The hidden cost of staying “polite”
Here’s what most under-earning experts do instead:
They stay in familiar rooms. They network with peers who can’t pay them. They post content and hope the right person magically appears. They avoid asking for introductions because it feels “pushy.”
They dress it up and then they call it “integrity.” But often it’s just nervous system avoidance wearing a nice outfit.
No rejection. No exposure. No risk. Just a slow drip of missed opportunity.
And, perhaps you’re familiar with one of my sayings, or is it a mantra now… “Clarity is my compass.” If your ideal clients are justifiably affluent, your strategy must match the destination.
Your market has habitats
Affluent clients have habitats.
- They attend certain events.
- They support certain causes.
- They listen to certain advisors.
- They spend time in certain cultural and philanthropic circles.
- They’re often surrounded by a web of protectors: lawyers, accountants, wealth managers, trustees, property specialists, private client advisors, founders of specialist firms.
So, your job isn’t to “hunt” them. Your job is to become credibly visible in the places that already filter trust. That’s the whole game.
Purposefully visible doesn’t mean everywhere
This is where people get it wrong. They hear “visibility” and become overwhelmed as their mind spirals through more posting, more noise, more content, more performance and more time.
No.
Purposefully visible means fewer rooms, better rooms. It means you choose where you show up based on:
- values alignment
- proximity to decision-makers
- quality of introductions available
- the kind of conversations being held there
Because if you’re trying to attract premium clients in low-trust, low-standards rooms… you’ll exhaust yourself explaining your value.
Premium clients don’t want to be convinced. They want to feel safe.
How to get known in the right rooms without feeling sleazy
Here are three practical moves that keep it clean and powerful:
- Choose three rooms and commit.
Not thirty. Three.
One philanthropic which aligns with your values and interests.
One cultural where relationships can deepen.
One professional where trust-transfer is more formal.
We all have a finite time and depth beats scatter every time. - Ask for introductions with precision.
Stop being a generalist. “Do you know anyone wealthy?” just doesn’t hack it, so please don’t.
But in conversation, you can be casually precise (remember this is a strategy).
Often people will ask who’d you’d like to meet, so be prepared. Perhaps you’d say, “I’m looking to meet X type of person who is dealing with Y situation. If you’re asked why be prepared with a short outcome answer, for example “I help them achieve Z outcome.” That’s very clear. And of course be grateful, not grovelling.Yes, one of my favourites is to keep it even more casual and align myself with one of their interests – but I’m sure it goes without saying it has to be true and values led. Remember vague is awkward, novice, disrespectful and unprofessional.
My most valued business relationships have developed from a 30 second conversation and being asked for my card. Not my business card, my personal contact card… big difference.
- Be useful before you’re promotional.
Ask intelligent questions. Notice patterns. Make high-quality connections. Be the person others want in the room because you lift the calibre of conversation.And then, when someone says, “Tell me more…” you’re ready. Not with a pitch. With a clear next step, but don’t be drawn in to a long solution conversation. Remember you’re the expert, so there’s no need to justify.
Final word
If someone calls this stalking, they’re confusing visibility with obsession. Being known in the right rooms is not chasing. It’s choosing.
- Choosing your environment.
- Choosing your reputation.
- Choosing to be credibly visible where trust already exists.
Because in premium markets, the deal often isn’t won by the loudest voice. It’s won by the most trusted presence and that is your power.
And that, is very serious business.
Love. Gail.
PS
If you’re brilliant at what you do but your income doesn’t match your value, book a Joyful Profits session.
We’ll identify the leak, reclaim your business and personal leverage, and map your next best move calmly, strategically, and fast.